Wayne Merlot spotted on bench, appears to still be alive (surprisingly)

Wayne Merlot, famous for films such as "Finally, she touched me" and "Sing, blind dog, sing!", was spotted in Ohio yesterday afternoon on a bench at an outlet mall. Those who saw him said he appeared to be in good health, although both of the Auntie Anne's shift managers admitted they have no training in the medical arts. It was the first public sighting of Merlot in quite some time. He has been reclusive since critics panned his rock opera, "Harley Davidson and Cigarettes". One can only hope this sighting means he has finally recovered and is ready to perform again.

Merlot Resurfaces at Titanic Replica Dedication

After disappearing from the public eye for nearly four years following accusations of grand larceny and being the least influential Canadian "Celebrity", Wayne Merlot resurfaced Wednesday with paparazzi in tow at the Rising Star Casino. During the dedication ceremony, Merlot appeared annoyed and sweaty until after the ceremony, when he boldly declared, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Wayne Merlot is back. Hold on to your butts!" The full-scale, non-functional replica of the legendary Titanic was funded by the taxpayers of Rising Sun, Indiana as part of their waterfront rejuvenation program.

Merlot Finds Comfort On Park Bench

When Wayne Merlot needs a pick-me-up, he retreats to his favorite park bench. It is inscribed with simply, "Wayne". What a man.

Wayne Merlot Living On Edge

Wayne Merlot has finally sold his boat. He now has a place to live and a motorcycle. His friends think he has lost his mind!

Wayne: "All We Got Was Paw Paw's Urn..."

"...and our scarves."

Wayne Merlot Now Homeless

Wayne Merlot and his son, Wayne Merlot Jr., were kicked out of the house they were staying at by Maw Maw Merlot. When asked, Maw Maw simply said, "They didn't do nothin' but sing and sleep."

Merlot Peddling Again

Wayne and Wayne Jr. were spotted again yesterday peddling for items in an old abandoned neighborhood. None of this would be necessary if Wayne Sr. had just gone on tour and knocked the socks off the crowd at each venue. Maybe next time, right?