Wayne: "All We Got Was Paw Paw's Urn..."

"...and our scarves."

Wayne Merlot Now Homeless

Wayne Merlot and his son, Wayne Merlot Jr., were kicked out of the house they were staying at by Maw Maw Merlot. When asked, Maw Maw simply said, "They didn't do nothin' but sing and sleep."

Merlot Peddling Again

Wayne and Wayne Jr. were spotted again yesterday peddling for items in an old abandoned neighborhood. None of this would be necessary if Wayne Sr. had just gone on tour and knocked the socks off the crowd at each venue. Maybe next time, right?

Merlot Refuses To Sell Boat; Contemplates Bankruptcy

Wayne Merlot has emphatically denied all rumors that he is ready to sell his boat so he can pay bills. As you can see, he likes his boat. And show tunes.

Wayne Merlot Jr.: "Times are tough."

The real question is, will Wayne Sr. juggle whistles for watermelon jello? We think so.

Merlot Family Remembers Elvis

Wayne Merlot and Wayne Jr. honored the late, great Elvis Presley yesterday by sending a sympathy card to Lisa Marie (33 years after her father's death) and then putting sunglasses on a cake.