Merlot Refuses To Sell Boat; Contemplates Bankruptcy

Wayne Merlot has emphatically denied all rumors that he is ready to sell his boat so he can pay bills. As you can see, he likes his boat. And show tunes.

Wayne Merlot Jr.: "Times are tough."

The real question is, will Wayne Sr. juggle whistles for watermelon jello? We think so.

Merlot Family Remembers Elvis

Wayne Merlot and Wayne Jr. honored the late, great Elvis Presley yesterday by sending a sympathy card to Lisa Marie (33 years after her father's death) and then putting sunglasses on a cake.

Mackie Gave Merlot Lice, Doctors Say

Wayne punches himself in the forehead after being covered in delousing powder. Rumor has it that he got the lice by sharing a pillow with Mackie (from the musical group Mackie and the Hambones).

Merlot Apprehended; Hearing Postponed

Wayne Merlot remains in the custody of the Great White North, AKA Canada. He was arrested Friday in Medicine Hat, Alberta and charged with shoplifting a scarf. His hearing was postponed until Monday because, as Merlot so eloquently put it, "Wayne doesn't work on Friday!".

Water Safety PSA Photos

The Royal Southernish West Central Alberta Canadian Water Safety Commision (RSWCACWSC) has released photos from Wayne Merlot's recent PSA taping in Reno, Nevada. The organization hopes to reduce adult hand pruning caused by water.

Wayne Merlot Supports Wieners

Wayne was in Cincinnati, OH this afternoon to show his support for Oscar Mayer and their hot dogs. His youthful sense of humor provided us with this instant classic snapshot.

And yes, Wayne did get to ride in the weenie wagon.